


limerence

by rocketshiptospace



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, Mentions of homophobia, mentions of slurs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-21
Updated: 2015-10-30
Packaged: 2018-04-22 19:19:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4847264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketshiptospace/pseuds/rocketshiptospace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once is chance, twice is coincidence, third time is a pattern. By the fourth time it just starts getting ridiculous.</p><p>Or, the boys keep pretending to date each other. Honestly, it's just asking for trouble, right from the start.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Luke, Ashton, and the year everyone thought they were dating.

**Author's Note:**

> so uhm??? i've been working on this for a really long time??? i still haven't actually finished it but i couldn't stop myself from posting the first chapter haha. each chapter will focuss on a different pairing, and lashton's up first, so enjoy :D

“You two _kissed_?!”

It’s the first thing Luke hears when he’s almost reached the living room, carrying a mug of tea for both him and Ashton. It’s unmistakably Michael’s voice that shouts out the accusation, and when Luke actually enters the living room he sees the shell shocked look on Michael’s face that matches the statement. He’s sitting on the couch, next to Calum, who looks equally surprised. Ashton’s curled up on one of the two arm chairs in the room, with an amused smile on his face

Luke momentarily wonders if he should ask what they’re talking about, but years of sharing a house with these boys have learned him that it’s often better not to ask. He’ll find out what’s going on soon enough. And if he doesn’t, he probably didn’t want to know in the first place.

“Yup,” Ashton says, smiling gently at Luke when he gives him his tea, before turning back to Michael, the amused look returning, “We did.”

Luke sits down in the remaining arm chair and curls his legs underneath him. He softly blows his tea and tries not to laugh at the slightly betrayed looks that have started to form on Michael and Calum’s faces.

“Why did you never tell us?” Calum frowns, “I feel like this is key information that should have been shared earlier in our relationship.” He folds his arms over his chest, probably in an attempt to look threatening. Instead, he kind of looks like a five year old throwing a tantrum. It’s doesn’t really help that he’s leaning against Michael’s chest, and that Michael is mindlessly carding his fingers through Calum’s hair, softly playing with the strands.

Ashton rolls his eyes, “Oh yeah, I totally should have mentioned this fact the first time we met. Can you imagine? Hello, we are your new roommates! My name is Ashton, this is Luke, and one time in high school, we kissed!”

“Ah,” Luke says, finally catching up with their current conversational topic. “So that’s where this is about.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Michael says, sharp and accusing, “This is about the fact that you two apparently had _sexual escapades-_ “

 Ashton snorts, interrupting Michael’s oncoming rant. “You can hardly call them ‘sexual escapades’. It was just a kiss.”

“Not the _point_ ,” Michael says, glaring at him. “It’s not about the sexual escapades or the kiss or whatever, I could care less about that. I mean you could literally get on your knees right now and go suck Luke’s dick and I wouldn’t give two shits. Okay, okay wait no I would care then, that’s just-“ He sighs frustrated, “The point is that you never trusted us enough to _tell us this_.”

“Oh my god are you serious?” Luke asks with a laugh, placing his tea down on the side table, “It’s not that we never trusted you with this story, it’s just that it never seemed appropriate to bring it up? Plus, it happened a really long time ago.”

“Yeah, and it was just a kiss,” Ashton adds.

“Well, I wouldn’t call it _just a kiss_ ,” Luke says, feigning hurt by placing his hand on his heart and sending Ashton his best pair of puppy dog eyes. “I mean, come on, Ash, we dated for like a whole year after that!”

Ashton groans as Michael and Calum literally shoot up from the couch and stare at Luke incredulously. “You two did _what_?!” They shout in perfect unison, and Luke would be impressed if he wasn’t trying so hard to keep himself from bursting out in laughter.

“Don’t worry,” Ashton says, a smile forming on his face when he sees Calum and Michael’s ridiculous expressions, “It wasn’t actually like that.”

Luke finally decides to take pity on Michael and Calum, who at this point kind of look like they’re five seconds away from just punching the story out of them. “It was more like, an accident?” He starts, picking up his tea from the side table again, just holding it in his hands, letting the warmth seep through. “Basically, me and Ashton went to the school dance together, because, well, let’s be honest, we didn’t really have any other friends back then and neither of us was really interested in anyone, and nobody was really interested in us so, yeah. Anyway, we went there together, and it actually was a lot of fun, you know? I mean, it was pretty cliché, with all these cute sparkling lights and cheesy music and shit and I’m pretty sure someone spiked the punch, which was admittedly rather funny, but still-“

Michael cuts him off mid-sentence. “I swear to god, Hemmings, if you do not get to the point right now I will actually start screaming.” His voice sounds calm but his eyes look rather murderous.

“Right, yes.” Luke clears his throat, “So, me and Ash are having a fucking blast and goofing around and at one point we end up on the dance floor together, just messing around, you know? I mean you’ve seen me dancing when he go out, it was like that but _so much worse_. All awkward limbs and dumb moves like the sprinkler. Nothing provocative. Like, it wasn’t like Ash and I were grinding each other and dirtying it up, you know? Honestly, there were couples on the floor that were a lot worse than us. Anyway, still, this one chick comes up to us and she just, she starts yelling about how we’re ‘flaunting our gay’ and ‘freaking out the other students with our blatant homosexuality’. We were both out of the closet by then, so I guess it was rather easy for people to just… assume.” He pauses to look at Ashton, and sees the same pained expression he knows he must have on his face.

It just, it wasn’t really easy for them, back then. The community they lived in was generally rather accepting, but despite that, there were still the stares, the whispers, the pointed fingers. There were still people that heavily disapproved, the people that teased and called them names. It wasn’t that bad, and neither of them had ever really gotten hurt, but it still happened. It was still there. And it’s a chapter in their lives both of them would rather forget.

Luke sends Ashton a soft, reassuring smile and clears his throat before continuing. “So, uh, obviously that wasn’t really, well, uh, cool and all that, and Ashton got a bit, well, pissed.” He pauses again. Pissed maybe wasn’t the right word. Livid probably comes closer to describing the pure fire in Ashton’s eyes as the girl had turned to Luke and spit the word ‘fagot’ in his face, her tone careless and biting, and full of pure _hatred_. He sees a small flicker of the same anger in Ashton’s eyes right now, and even though it’s just a glimmer of what it had been that night, he quickly starts talking again. “Ashton, well, you know how he gets when, uh, people are not so very nice.”

Michael and Calum both get soft smiles on their faces, clearly remembering the times Ashton has stood up for them. You could say a lot about Ashton, but at least he fights for what he believes in. Fights for the ones he loves. “And well, apparently he decided it was time to make a statement, or that the best way to deal with someone so homophobic was to give them as much homo as he possibly could, so he just, uh, sort of grabbed me, and well, kissed me.”

(He doesn’t tell them the whole story. Doesn’t tell them about how he had desperately clung to Ashton, reciprocating the kiss with as much enthusiasm Ashton was giving him. Doesn’t tell them about the look they shared afterwards, the homophobic girl long forgotten.

Doesn’t tell them about how, later that night, when they were curled up together in Ashton’s bed for a sleep over, Ashton had turned to him and softly asked, “Was that okay?” Knowing very well that fiends don’t just kiss their other friends like that, even if it’s to make a statement. Luke remembers immediately opening his mouth to assure Ashton that it was okay, they were okay, it wasn’t a problem, that he thought that what Ashton did was very brave, even though Luke was part of it too. He didn’t even have to think about it. But Ashton continued talking before he even go the first word out of his mouth, eyes wide and slightly panicked. “I shouldn’t have put you in that position, I should’ve asked you first, oh god, I totally took advantage of the situation, I’m _so_ sorry.”

Luke remembers taking Ashton’s hand in his, forcing Ashton to look at him. “It’s fine, Ash. It’s okay. I didn’t mind, yeah? I trust you. And in the end, all I care about is that you and I are okay and that we fucking embarrassed the _shit_ out of that girl. God, you should’ve seen her face, I thought she was going to _explode_ from anger.”

He didn’t say anything about the kiss, about how it made him feel, about how he kind of wanted to do it again. He figured that right now just wasn’t the right time to bring it up. Back then, Luke and Ashton needed each other as friends more than anything. Nothing more, nothing less.

Ashton, seemingly assured by Luke’s words, smiled and tightened his hold on Luke’s hand. “She deserved it, though. No one treats my friends like that. No one.” He saw some of the fire return in Ashton’s eyes, the same fire they held when the girl had said that one particular word, and he’s pretty sure that’s the first time he realized that Ashton would fight heaven and hell to keep him safe, to protect him.

Luke had smiled back at Ashton, all soft and fond, knowing Ashton was going to be there for him, no matter what. “Love you too, Ash.”)

Michael and Calum are staring at Ashton with open mouth, and Ashton just shrugs. “Yeah, that was it, mostly. After that the story of our kiss sort of spread and then everyone just sort of automatically assumed we were dating.”

“And you never bothered to correct them?” Calum asks, slightly confused.

“No,” Luke shrugs, “No one ever bothered to ask us if we were, you know. Actually dating. They just assumed we were. And besides, we didn’t really mind? We were both almost graduating anyway, and neither of us was really interested in dating anyone at the time, so yeah. It wasn’t a big deal or anything. I mean, hardly anyone really knew us. We were the hot gossip of the school for like, a week, and then everything just sort of died down.”

Michael shakes his head in disbelief. “I still can’t believe you never told us this story, it’s fucking _wild_.”

Luke shrugs. He knows exactly why _he_ never brought it up. He knows what feelings the kiss spurred inside him, feelings that never truly left over the years, only got _worse_. Bringing up the story would only remind him of the fact that he never got over his stupid high school crush on Ashton, and the he probably never will. It’s just something he learned to live with over the year and prefers to think about as little as possible.

Because after all these years, he knows Ashton would still fight heaven and hell for him, and he wouldn’t want to risk losing that just because he went and fell in love with the guy. Ashton’s too important to him for that to happen.

He glances at Ashton, but Ashton has an unreadable expression on his face when he says, “I guess it just never came up.”

The whole story gets forgotten rather quickly after that. Michael starts yelling about how they’re all shit friends that never tell him anything, and then Calum hits him with a pillow and informs him that he always tells Michael _everything_ and that if anyone is a shit friend it’s _Michael himself_ , which leads to some sort of weird tickle fight between the two. It doesn’t take long for Ashton to join in too, launching himself on top of the other boys, making them groan and yell at him.

Luke doesn’t join in, just watches them for a while, glad for the fact that he can call these idiots his friends. It used to be just him and Ashton, but since they met Calum and Michael and became roommates, it kind of feels like it’s always been the four of them. Like it was always _supposed_ to be the four of them. Maybe that’s the other reason why he never told Calum and Michael the story about his and Ashton’s kiss. It reminds him of how there was a time where it _wasn’t_ the four of them against the rest of the world. It reminds him of a time where he didn’t have a Calum to cuddle whenever he was feeling down. A time where he didn’t have a Michael who depended on him to pick his new hair color. A time where it wasn’t the four of them spending practically every free moment together, from breakfast to movies before bed.

A time where he never truly felt like he belonged.

(Michael accidentally hits Calum in the face with his elbow and spends a good ten minutes apologizing while Ashton scolds him for being so inconsiderate and careless and Luke has to try his hardest not to laugh. They’re idiots, really. But they’re his idiots, and that’s all that matters.)


	2. Ashton, Michael, and how to trick your parents into thinking you’re dating one of your best friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ITS MASTHON TIME!!!
> 
> honestly i'm so hype for this chapter i LOVE mashton I LOVE IT
> 
> also i dont think i explained this in the first chapter but each chapter will be in another boy's pov (the order will be luke-ashton-michael-calum-michael-ashton-luke SEE WHAT I DID THERE)
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoy!!!!!

Ashton realized a long, _long_ time ago that being friends with Calum, and especially Michael, meant that every now and then you would be dragged into doing shit you weren’t really one hundred percent behind. There’s been countless times where Calum had just sort of grabbed him by his arm, dragged him off the couch, and announced that they were going to do something that ‘might be like, a tiny bit illegal, if you squint’. Countless times of Michael running into his room with some stupid prank he wanted to pull on the other boys and Ashton going along with it, mostly to assure Michael wouldn’t hurt himself.

So he’s not entirely surprised when Michael walks into his bedroom, falls down next to him on the bed, and says: “I need you to be my boyfriend this weekend.”

Ashton raises an eyebrow. “Is that how you ask out all the boys? Because in that case you might want to change your tactic. Most people are more in to the whole wining and dining first thing. People like me, for example. I appreciate your straight forwardness, though.”

Michael whines and flops down on his back. “Come on, Ash, don’t be a dick about it. It’s already bad enough that I have to ask you. But it’s just, my mom’s been on my back about me ‘finding a nice boy to settle down with for like _weeks_ now, and it was kind of getting on my nerve, so I just, well.” He pauses. “Blurted out I had a boyfriend.”

“Which you don’t.” Ashton unhelpfully supplies. He closes his laptop and places it on the desk next to his bed, before sitting down next to Michael, knowing there is no way he’s going to get any work done now.

Michael nods solemnly. “Which I don’t. But my mother doesn’t know that. So now she invited me and my non-existent boyfriend to come over this weekend, which is, well, where you come in.”

“Wait, let me get this straight,” Ashton says, holding up his hands. “You told your mother you had a boyfriend even though you haven’t been on a date since _October last year_ , and then when she invites said boyfriend over for dinner you decide that asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend is easier than just admitting to your mother that you lied? Or maybe just telling her that you two broke up? Or literally anything else that doesn’t end up with me having to pretend like you’re the love of my life in front of your parents?”

Michael frowns at him. “Well, I don’t know, I didn’t really think about it.”

Ashton sighs, “No, that much is clear.

“Why are you turning this in such a big deal? I mean you dated Luke for like, an entire year and that was apparently never a problem.” Michael crosses his arms and frowns, kind of reminding Ashton of a child throwing a fit after his mother told him he couldn’t have another cookie.

“That was an entirely different situation, Michael.” We never _asked_ for that. God, I should have never told you that story.” Ashton frowns back at him, disappointed.

The Luke thing, that was so different from what Michael’s asking from him right now. Back then, he was protecting Luke, in his own weird little way. He was making a statement. Not only towards the girl, but also towards Luke. He was trying to show Luke that you shouldn’t take anyone’s shit, that you shouldn’t let other people dictate how you should live your life. That, and Luke has just looked very cute and very kissable that night. He was wearing a flower garland, for god’s sake. Sue Ashton for wanting to make out with him.

Point is, he would’ve done the same for Michael. If it had been Michael back then, if Michael would’ve been at the school dance with him and some girl had come up to them and started yelling about the sanctity of marriage, about how who they were was _wrong_ , he would’ve kissed Michael just as easily. (He doesn’t think about how cute Michael would look wearing a flower garland, or how soft his lips would feel against Ashton’s. He doesn’t think about that at all. Really, he _doesn’t_.)

But what Michael is asking of him right now is something _entirely_ different. Right now Michael is asking Ashton to lie to his parents, two people Ashton only met once, vaguely, when they were skyping Michael, and who appear to be very nice and decent people. He’s asking Ashton to lie, simply because he’s too chicken shit to tell his mother that he’s just not really interested in dating anyone right now.

“I’m sorry,” Michael, mutters, sounding sincere. It takes Ashton by surprise a bit. Usually Michael likes to fight for his right, no matter how wrong he is. “I know it wasn’t like that, for you two. I know you we’re just dong-“ He balls his hands into fists and huffs out a frustrated breath. “I know we joked about it when you told us, but just, hearing Luke tell that, hearing Luke talk about people treating him like that almost carelessly, like it was not big deal, just made me, I don’t know.” He refuses to look Ashton in the eyes. “If it had been me there with him, I just, I probably would’ve puncher in the face. I wouldn’t have cared if it had gotten me in trouble, just, no one gets to talk to Luke like that.” Michael finally looks up, and Ashton can see the fire, the anger, shining  in his eyes. It’s the same fire Ashton figures must’ve been in his own eyes way back when. Ashton reaches out for him and places a consoling hand on his shoulder, to let him know it’s okay. Michael visibly deflates, and he smiles faintly.

“Your thing was better, probably. I just, thank you. For being there for him, you know? I just, I forget, sometimes, that there was a time where it just, where people weren’t as accepting of him. Me and Calum, we never had any backlash growing up, you know? Everybody just sort of, I don’t know, accepted it. But you two, you actually had shitheads like that around, people that treated you like shit for just being you. And I can’t imagine having to deal with that. I just, fuck, I’m being incredibly sappy about this, I should probably just like, shut up now. Thank you, for what it’s worth.”

Ashton can’t help it. Michael’s words, the almost broken, frustrated look on his face. He’s defenseless against such displays of pure dedication for and from the people he loves. So he pulls Michael into a hug, runs his fingers through his hair, and mumbles, “Fine, I’ll pretend to be your boyfriend.”

He can feel Michael smile against the fabric of his shirt and can't help but smile too. Suddenly Michael's pulling away, though, and looking at Ashton very seriously. “That's not, that's not why I said all that, you know that, right? I didn't, I didn't say that just to convince you. I truly meant what I said.”

He looks panicked, desperate to convince Ashton that he didn't try to sweet talk his way into Ashton agreeing with him, and Ashton can't help but smile fondly at him. “I know, Michael, it's okay. I just, uh, you reminded me that I you would do anything for me, for us? So I just figured, I should, uh, return the favor. Plus, it would be about time you properly introduced me to your parents. I mean, how long have we known each other, Clifford? Yet I've never met your parents. I mean, _you literally spent Christmas at my family's house last year_. I feel like it's time I met _your_ folks.”

“That's true, but I also have a very good reason for that,” Michael says seriously.

“And that is?” Ashton asks, eyebrow raised.

Michael looks at him solemnly. “They have the tendency of showing whoever I bring home my old baby pictures and then insist on telling embarrassing stories about me, which is, well, embarrassing.”

Ashton laughs, “You know what, I think I'm actually going to have a lot of fun this weekend. I'm going to go home with more blackmail material than I know what to do with.”

Michael groans and hides his face in Ashton's shoulder. “I'm already deeply regretting this.” Ashton just hums and consolingly pats his hair.

A silence falls over the room as Ashton and Michael reposition themselves on the bed so that they're properly cuddling, Michael's head pillowed on Ashton's chest and Ashton idly running his fingers through Michael's hair. It's nice, relaxing, and Ashton can feel himself slowly dozing off. He thinks he hears Michael mumble a 'Love you'  against his collarbone, but he's not quite sure. Maybe he dreamed it.

\--

Ashton nails it. He charms the motherfucking pants off of Mr. and Mrs. Clifford. He’s the best fake boyfriend the world has ever seen, if he says so himself. Honestly, he should get an Oscar for this performance. He’s the crème de la crème of fake boyfriends.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that this is _Michael_ and that he and Michael always sort of walked that thin line between overly affectionate and just downright boyfriend behavior, but he doesn’t try to dwell on that for too long. Just presses a kiss to Michael’s cheek when he hands him his coffee after dinner, settles down on the couch next to him, and continues the conversation he was previously having with Mrs. Clifford (“Oh, Ashton, please just call me Karen. I mean, you’re basically part of the family now!”).

All and all, he’s handling this amazingly well. He’s playing the charming boyfriend perfectly, makes polite conversation with Michael’s parents and is just a little bit more affectionate with Michael than he normally would. It’s all going great. Amazing, even.

Or it would be, if it wasn’t for the that Michael kind of looks like he regrets every single life decision he’s ever made leading up to this exact moment. Ashton’s not really sure where it’s coming from, seeing he appeared fine on the way over. Actually, now Ashton thinks about it, Michael has started looking increasingly more terrified ever since Ashton told his parents the story of how they got together.

(Which was completely improvisation on Ashton’s part, because like the _idiots_ they were, Michael and Ashton hadn’t talked about what they were going to say before they came here. So he just launched into some story about how him and Michael had been living together for so long, had been friends equally as long, and how he just suddenly started noticing things he hadn’t before. Like how cute Michael looked sitting at the breakfast table, all sleepy and blearily with his hair sticking in every possible direction. Or how nice his hair smelled. Or how beautiful his laugh was.

Most of it wasn’t even a lie, because Ashton _does_ think when he’s just woken up. And his hair smells like this weird combination of something really fruity and something more earthy which reminds Ashton a bit of home. And his laugh is like, loud and obnoxious, but so typically _Michael_ that it’s hard not to laugh with him. So really, he wasn’t even truly lying to Michael’s parents.)

But looking back on it, Michael had become increasingly more quiet and closed off the more Ashton talked, and suddenly Ashton realizes that he might have made him uncomfortable. Sure, they’ve been all over each other from the minute they stepped inside, but there is a difference between physical affection and something almost like mental affection. Ashton realizes that maybe he made Michael uncomfortable by talking about him like that.

He looks at Michael now, sitting next to him on the couch, and for anyone else, he’d look relaxed. He’s leaning back, arm slung over the back of the couch so it’s basically around Ashton’s shoulder, and he’s having an animated conversation with his dad. To anyone else, he’d look like a guy bringing his boyfriend home for the first time. Relaxed and at home, but with an edge of nerves to it.

But Ashton, who knows Michael inside out, knows there’s something else going on. He can see it in Michael’s eyes. They have a weird edge to them of something that Ashton can only describe as sadness. He can see it in the twitch of Michael’s fingers, like he’s fighting the urge to properly wrap his arm around Ashton, to pull him closer, to do _something_. He can see it in the nervous jiggle of Michael’s leg. Miniscule, but noticeable to Ashton, who’s sitting so close he’s almost in Michael’s lap.

There’s not much he can do, though, not with Michael’s parents in the room. He can’t ask Michael what’s wrong, in case it has something to do with the scheme they’re currently performing. Can’t really properly comfort him right now.

So he does the next possible thing, which is to place his hand on Michael’s jiggling knee, squeezing reassuringly. It’s not much, but it’s letting Michael know he’s there, and that they can talk about whatever is bothering Michael later, when they’re alone again. Michael looks at the hand on his knee, then up at Ashton, and smiles. Albeit a bit weakly, but it’s something, so Ashton decides they’re okay for now, and focuses on the conversation going on around him.

It’s later, when they’re snuggled together in Michael’s childhood bed, that Ashton finally gets to ask Michael what was bothering him.

The bed isn’t really all that big, so they’re basically spooning, Michael’s back to Ashton, so Ashton can’t see his face, but he _can_ see Michael shrug, like it’s nothing. “Come one,” Ashton mumbles into the space between Michael’s shoulder blades. “I know you, Mikey, and something’s bothering you.”

Michael sighs and finally turns around. Ashton can see the slight frown on his face, the contemplating look in Michael’s eyes. “I just, uh, you were right, you know. About lying to your parents. It’s. It’s weird. I shouldn’t have-“ Michael breaks off mid-sentence and huffs. “I don’t like lying to them like this. They think I’m happy, which I _am_ , just, just not the way they want me to be. And I don’t know how to tell them I basically already have everything I want, you know? I have you and Calum and Luke and it’s enough, it _should be_ enough. But I just-“ Michael lets out a frustrated noise.

“Hey, hey,” Ashton says, forcing Michael to look at him by placing a finger under his chin and lifting his head up. “You’re happy, yeah? You’re happy and that’s all that matters. And if you’re parents seem to think it’s another kind of happiness, who cares? You are happy and they know you’re happy. It doesn’t matter how, okay? Just that you are. That’s enough. It’s okay, you’re okay.”

“Yeah,” Michael mumbles, “I’m okay.”

A silence falls over them, one in which they sort of just lay next to each other, enjoying the moment. The day had been hectic, confusing, but right now it’s just Michael and Ashton, just them in the quiet of Michael’s childhood bedroom. Ashton can hear Michael’s breathing, sees the rise and fall of his chest, the flutter of his eyelashes, and it’s all comforting in a way an old worn in sweater can be. It’s familiar and simple. It’s just Michael.

Michael reaches up his free arm, the other squashed under his body, and brushes his hand over Ashton’s cheek. “Thank you, for today,” he mumbles. “Thank you for doing that for me.”

Ashton smiles, soft and private, “Always. You know that, right?”

Michael hums an affirmative, and his hand doesn’t leave Ashton’s cheek. Ashton finds he doesn’t really mind that much. “You would have done the same for me,” Ashton adds, when the silence stretches on for too long.

“Yeah,” Michael mumbles. “Always.”

There’s a bit of a mischievous glint in his eyes as he parrots Ashton’s words back to him, and Ashton can’t help but laugh. When his laughter has died down, he finds Michael looking at him strangely, almost calculating. Ashton’s about to open his mouth to say something, to ask Michael what’s wrong, when Michael suddenly surges forward and softly presses his lips to Ashton’s.

It’s nothing special, just the dry press of lips against lips, but Ashton feels like there’s something behind it, something more. But before he has much time to think about it, Michael’s pulling away and smiling softly at him. “Thank you, again. You’re, I’m….” He pauses. “You’re really important to me.”

Ashton nods. He would say something, _should_ say something, maybe something along the lines of “You’re really important to me too.” But he can’t find the words. His mind is still reeling with the feeling of Michael’s lips on his, and how he was right in thinking Michael’s lips would be soft, and how he’s not really sure what this means.

He looks at Michael, and he sees something in his eyes, a spark of something unidentifiable that Ashton can’t quite place yet. He thinks about Michael, about Luke, about Calum, and he figures he should just leave it for now. It was just Michael thanking him for helping him out today. It was just platonic, nothing more, nothing less. Nothing to worry about.

Or at least, that’s what he keeps telling himself.

(When Ashton wakes up, Michael’s sprawled all over his chest and drooling on his collarbone. He tries to be disgusted, he really does, but the fond wins. He brushes a strand of hair out of Michael’s face and presses a kiss to his forehead and Michael lets out a loud snore. Yeah, the fond definitely wins.)


	3. Michael, Calum, and the spring wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its time for chapter threeeeee!!! mah boys malum representin B)

Michael loves Calum, has always loved Calum. It’s just something that has always sort of been there. He knows that there’s been where he didn’t know Calum, or where he didn’t feel this comfortable with his best friend yet, or where they were _just friends_ instead of _best friends_ , but that’s a very, _very_ long time ago, and he’s actually kind of glad he can’t remember much of it. He thinks life without Calum would kind of suck.

His favorite thing about his relationship with Calum has to be the fact that they’ve been friends for so long, that they can now basically communicate without really saying anything. They _understand_ each other. Michael can crawl out of bed in the ‘ morning’ (“Three in the afternoon is not morning, Michael.”  “Oh, shut up, Ash. Just because you wake up at the ass crack of dawn doesn’t mean we all have to.”  “I got out of bed at _eleven_.”  “Yeah, like I said, ass crack of dawn.”  “You’re hopeless.”) and grunt in Calum’s general direction and not even five seconds later there will be a warm mug of tea in his hands.

Sometimes Calum will come home after work and sit down next to Michael on the couch, softly nudging Michael’s shoulder. It’s almost second nature for Michael to immediately lay down in a more comfortable position and pull Calum into a well needed cuddle.

It’s just soft touches and small noises, but all of them together mean more than spoken sentences ever will. Michael _understands_ Calum, inside out. He knows what Calum means and wants to say before he even opens his mouth. The two of them can go a whole day without speaking, and still feel like they’ve said everything they wanted to each other when they go to bed at night.

It’s so normal for them, and the people around them, that they never really think about how it must look to other people, people who aren’t as familiar with Michael and Calum’s general behavior.

Which becomes glaringly obvious when Ashton forces them to do groceries for once. Usually Ashton does them, because even though the other boys hate to admit it, he’s actually the most decent cook in their household. He’s also the only one that manages to do the groceries without coming home with only six boxes of Lucky Charms (Luke), a life time supply of microwavable popcorn (Michael), or the biggest jar of peanut butter any of them has ever seen (Calum).

But Ashton’s feeling a bit under the weather right now, and Luke is at home with his family for the weekend, so it’s up to Michael and Calum to do the groceries. Which, so far, is actually going pretty great. (Thought that’s mostly thanks to the _very_ detailed list Ashton had given them, but still.)

“Do you have-“  Michael starts, when they’re standing in the pasta isle, and Calum cuts him off with an affirmative noise and holds up the carrots.

“Awesome. And the-“ Calum nods and holds up a packet of rice crackers. Michael hums and pears down at their list. “ Okay so we only need cereal for Luke, the thing with the thingies, and the thing Ashton needed for the, uh, thing.”

Calum nods again. “Do you think Luke wants the cereal with the thingies or the other one with the colors and shit?”  He leans over Michael’s shoulder to look at the list.

“Well,” Michael’s says, lightly bumping his head against Calum’s while he considers that question. Calum smiles and wraps his arms around Michael’s waist, leaning down to properly lean his head on Michael’s shoulder. “He’s always in a really weird mood when he comes back from seeing his family, you know? Like, he’s happy he got to see them and sad he had to leave but he’s also happy to see us again because he missed us.”  Calum hums in confirmation. “ So I’d say the one with the thingies.”

“Yeah, you’re right,”  Calum says, untangling himself from Michael. “You go and grab Luke’s cereal, I’ll go grab the thing with the thingies and the thing Ashton needed and I’ll see you by the, uh, you know.” 

Michael smiles and nods. “Sounds like a plan. Be safe, soldier. I’d like to see you back in one piece.”  Calum salutes and grins widely before disappearing in the direction of the fruit and vegetables while Michael walks towards the cereal.

It only takes him a few seconds to find Luke’s cereal, so before he knows it he’s walking towards Calum, who is supposed to be waiting for him in the fruits and vegetables isle. However, when he reaches him he can see that he’s in a conversation with an elderly lady instead of picking up the stuff they need.

Michael plans on just walking up to them and joining the conversation, maybe asking where Calum knows this lady from (because last time Michael checked, Calum did not have a lot of friends above the age of thirty), but he freezes on the spot when he hears the woman say “I don’t mean to be creepy or anything, but I saw you walking around the store with your boyfriend and I just wanted to say that you two are very cute together. You remind me a lot of me and my husband used to be.”

The thing is, they’ve all joked about dating each other, and how they’re practically married. Hell, Ashton pretended to be his boyfriend just a few weeks ago (but he tries to forget that, tries to forget how perfect it had been to have Ashton as a boyfriend, how much his parents had loved him, how his lips had felt pressing against Michael’s in the dark of Michael’s childhood bedroom). But Calum has never really played along with any of it. He’s the first one to laugh it off or deny it when someone asks. Not that he’s ashamed of them, Michael knows that. He knows there’s something else, something bubbling below the surface of Calum’s skin that he’s just not ready to address yet. Which is why it’s no surprise when Calum smiles politely and says, “He’s not my boyfriend, actually.”

His next words, however, are ones that almost Michael give away his hiding place because _what_.

Because right when the elderly lady opens her mouth to apologize, already looking a bit flustered, Calum ads “He’s my fiancé.” With such a fond happy smile that even Michael believes him for a second.

From his position behind the broccoli and lettuce Michael can see the woman’s face light up with unbelievable glee, and suddenly he thinks he understands why Calum lied to her like that. The woman looks like she just won the lottery and became a grandmother all on the same day.

“Oh, how _lovely_!” She gushes, clearly trying to hold back from grabbing Calum and pulling him down in a bone crushing hug. “How delightful to see young love like that.”

“Yeah,” Calum says, ducking his head down bashfully, “He’s just, he’s the love of my life, you know? I’ve known him since I was like, eight years old and I just, I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. He means the world to me.” Michael tries to ignore how sincere those words sound, tries to ignore how badly he wants them to be true, tries to remind himself that this is just Calum pulling a really weird prank on an elderly lady.

The elderly lady in question is clearly endeared by Calum’s words, if the look on her face is anything to go by. “Since you were eight? That’s a really long time to know someone. How did you two meet, if you don’t mind me asking?”

Calum smiles, and it’s fond with a hint of the earlier bashfulness. “No, no I don’t mind at all. It’s, uh, not that interesting of a story, really? I just moved into a new town, which meant going to a new school and I just didn’t know a lot of people there. No one, actually. So I was sitting alone for most of the morning of my first day. But then during lunch, this boy comes up to me. I had seen him in class already, and he didn’t really seem to fit in? He was loud and a bit awkward and sometimes even kind of rude and the other kids just didn’t really seem to like him. So when he came up to me, I was just. I didn’t think I was going to like him, like, at all? He just, he didn’t appear like the kind of person that I usually befriended, back then.”

Calum pauses for a second, and Michael looks down at his feet. He’s heard this story before, and he knows what Calum’s original thoughts on him were. He also knows what comes next and how he managed to change Calum’s opinion within thirty seconds, but it still kind of hurts. To think Calum wasn’t as infatuated from the beginning as Michael was with him. Because Michael still remembers seeing Calum for the first time that day, and immediately just wanting to _be with him_. Be his friend.

It’s just, Calum had looked so _radiant_. He was like a planet, pulling Michael into his orbit. Michael had always been a bit of a crow, with a love for shiny things, and Calum had been the shiniest thing he had ever seen. (Still is. But now there’s also Ashton and Luke and sometimes Michael has a hard time deciding who of those three boys is the shiniest.) Calum just had this aura around him, like he was a person worth talking to. Michael knew from the moment he saw him that he wanted nothing more than to be friends with this boy. So, during that one faithful lunch break he had collected all his courage, taken a deep breath, and went to stand in front of Calum. And then he just sort of froze, unable to speak once this magnificent boy was right in front of him.

“He just sort of stood there, at first. Staring at me with these huge green eyes and his hands were like, trembling like crazy.” Calum eventually continues, the elderly lady still listening intently. “And I just sort of, felt sorry for him? Honestly he looked _terrified_. So I said hi. Just hi, nothing else, and for a moment I thought he hadn’t even heard me, because he just kept staring at me in like this almost frozen state. But then the brightest smile I’d ever seen broke out over his face and he just blurted out, “Your shoes are awesome. Like, they’re all brightly colored and stuff. Really awesome.” And then he got super flustered again, shaking his head like he was berating himself and went, “I mean, Michael. My name’s Michael. I’m, uh, hi.” And it was just like, all those thoughts about Michael possibly being someone I needed to avoid just faded? Because the boy standing in front of me was just as nervous about making friends as I was. And yet, he tried. He’d walked over to me, stared at me for a really long time and then continued to fumble over his words, but he had _tried_. None of the other kids had tried to talk to me yet. So I think that’s the moment I sort of realized Michael was a special kind of person, you know? Someone you’d like to be in your life for a very long time. Anyway, I invited him to sit down next to me then, and now, years and years later, here we are.” Calum finishes the story with a vague arm wave, as to indicate the whole life him and Michael had built up over the years. Michael can’t help but smile fondly.

It’s weird, hearing Calum tell the story like this. All the other times he heard it Calum knew he was there. Calum never told him about how he immediately knew Michael was someone he wanted to keep around. Neither had he ever told Michael how important it had been to him that he had at least _tried_ to talk to Calum. Michael always thought that the reason Calum asked him to sit next to him during lunch was because he thought Michael was funny, that the whole stumbling over his words thing was somehow hilariously endearing.

“Oh, that’s so _lovely_ ,” the elderly lady says, a smile on her face. “That’s such a wonderful story. And now you two are getting married, that’s so wonderful!”

Calum appears to be getting a little flustered as the elderly lady continues to fawn over him, and Michael decides it’s time to step in. Honestly, this whole thing has been going on long enough and Michael’s not sure how much longer he can listen to Calum pretending he’s going to _marry Michael_ without getting the strong urge to just grab Calum and kiss him.

So when Calum says, “Yeah, Michael and I were thinking of maybe getting married in the spring.” Michael slides up beside him, wraps one arm around Calum’s waist, and presses a kiss to his cheek.

“Hey babe, who’re you talking to?” Calum sends him a confused look, like he isn’t quite sure why Michael is suddenly being so affectionate, but then Michael winks and inconspicuously nods in the direction of the elderly lady and Calum seems to catch on almost immediately.

“Oh, this elderly lady just complimented us on how cute we look together. I was telling her about our engagement.”

Michael smiles at the woman, “Can you believe how lucky I am? I still can’t believe he said yes when I asked him.”

“I’m really happy for both of you,” the elderly lady says. “And I wish you all the luck in the future.”

“Thank you so much,” Michael says, smiling politely, “Unfortunately me and my husband-to-be have to go home now, but it was lovely meeting you!”

The elderly lady nods, smiles brightly at both of them one last time, and walks off, disappearing in the canned food isle.

“That was…. Interesting.” Michael says, when it’s clear the lady is out of earshot.

“That was... interesting.” Michael says, when it's clear the lady is out of earshot.

“Yeah,” Calum mutters, looking down at his feet, “I just, uh, how much, how much of that did you actually hear?” He's looking anywhere but Michael, and suddenly Michael realizes something.

He wasn't _supposed_ to hear any of that. Calum didn't know he was there. Calum was just talking to this lady about Michael and Michael was never supposed to hear _any of it_. Which also makes it glaringly obvious that anything Calum said was actually true (beside the engagement part, of course). And now Calum is scared -  no _terrified_ , if the aggressive lip biting is anything to go by – that Michael heard all or any of it. Michael's not  quite sure _why_ Calum is scared, whether it's because of the idea of Michael not returning any of his feelings or the idea of Michael actually returning any of his feelings. Whichever it is, Michael realizes that it's probably better to not bring it up now. They'll talk about it, eventually, but now is just not the time, or place.

So Michael raises an eyebrow, says “I only heard something about 'Michael and I are thinking about getting married in the spring' and figured you were pulling some sort of weird prank,” and watches the relief wash across Calum's face.

“Yeah,” Calum says, still looking anywhere but at Michael, “Was just pulling some stupid prank. She totally fell for it, too.”

Michael hums and decides to drop the topic, for now. “Hey, you reckon we need more microwavable popcorn? Because I reckon we need more microwavable popcorn.”

(When Michael walks into their apartment later, Calum in tow, he finds Ashton sprawled out on the couch. He's covered in a blanket (made by Luke's mother) and his hands are curled around his favorite mug (It has the words 'world's greatest grandpa' printed across the front in bright letters – a birthday present from Calum and Michael). When he spots Michael and Calum standing in the doorway, he sniffs miserably. “That took you long enough.”

Michael grins brightly at him. “Calum and I are getting married.”

Ashton merely raises his eyebrow. “You're trying to tell me you weren't already?”

Michael pouts at him while Calum drops the shopping bags in the kitchen. “We got you the thing.” He says, when he emerges again, swiftly changing the subject.

Ashton frowns at him. “What thing?”

“You know,” Michael says, “The thing you needed for the uh, thing.”

Ashton stares at him. “Okay. I don't know what that means, but thanks? Now come cuddle with me, I'm miserable.”

That's apparently all Calum needed to hear, because he immediately flops down next to Ashton and curls into his side. Michael carefully sits down on Ashton's other side, but doesn't hesitate to drape himself all over the older boy.

“I regret saying that.” Ashton says, his voice muffled by Michael's armpit. He doesn't sound annoyed though. If anything, he sounds horribly fond. Michael moves his arm so it's no longer in Ashton's face. Instead, it's now resting on Calum's hip, dangerously close to his ass. Michael thinks it’s a good sign that Calum doesn't move away. If anything, he cuddles even closer.

They have things to talk about, like the fact that neither of them minded the idea of being married with each other, or how natural it had felt to wrap his arm around Calum's waist and kiss his cheek, or how close Michael is to touching Calum's butt. But Ashton makes a content mumbling noise and buries his nose in Michael's shoulder and Calum hums and snakes his hand a little up Ashton's chest so it's wedged between Michael and Ashton's bodies and Michael figures it can wait.)


	4. Calum, Luke, and the knight in the shining armor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can you believe its already chapter four?? WERE OVER HALFWAY THERE AHHHHHHHH

“So,” Luke says, toying around with a stray coaster, “You and Mikey getting married, huh?”

Calum groans. It’s Friday night, which means the four of them get together for a beer at their local bar. Luke and Calum had both finished work a little early, which means they’re already there, waiting for Michael and Ashton to arrive. “Please don’t remind me,” Calum grumbles, taking the coaster out of Luke’s hands before he takes someone’s eye out with it. “Michael hasn’t shut up about it. Honestly, never should have done that whole thing with the old woman in the first place.”

“Then why did you” Luke asks, making grabby hands for the coaster. Calum frowns at him.

“Thought it was funny, at the time. It’s a lot less funny when your best friend continuously shoves bridal magazines in your face, asking you about ‘important wedding decisions’. Today he was trying to convince me to get a mermaid wedding gown. Said my ass would look great in it or some shit.”

Luke nods thoughtfully, “He’s got a point, though. Your ass _would_ look great in a mermaid gown. Hey, you should get one with those kind of see-through lace sleeves! I bet that will look great with your skin color.”

Calum momentarily comtemplates taking the coaster and shoving it down Luke’s throat. Or drowning him in his own beer. Luke catches Calum’s slightly murderous look and laughs. “Just kidding. But seriously though, it isn’t bothering you, right? I meant, Michael’s just fucking with you. You know what he’s like, always likes to take things a little too far.”

Calum snorts. “You tell me, I’ve known the bastard since I was like, eight.” Luke frowns at that. Calum knows he doesn’t like to be reminded of the fact that it hasn’t always been the four of them. Doesn’t like to be reminded of the fact that it’s been Michael&Calum for a lot longer than it’s been Michael&Calum&Luke&Ashton. Belatedly, he tries to talk over it. “I mean, I just, I’m used to his antics, you know? And let’s be real, this whole thing is my own goddamn fault.”

“I still don’t get it,” Luke says, fiddling with his beer glass. Calum is momentarily tempted to take the glass from him too, but he knows Luke needs his hands to do something when he is nervous, or isn’t sure what to say, so Calum lets him. “You aren’t, you never really…” He lets out a frustrated sigh and looks up at Calum, “You’d never…. It just seemed out of character for you. To be, to be the one saying that you and Michael were in in relationship. You aren’t usually… You’re usually the first one to deny things like that. So I just, I don’t know. It seemed a bit weird. For you. To say that, I mean.”

Calum sighs. And there it is, the question he’d been waiting for all week. Honestly, if anything, he’d expected Ashton to ask him this. But, even though they never give him enough credit for it, Luke had always been a little bit more observant. And Calum knows he’s right too. Calum isn’t the kind of person who goes around yelling that Luke is the love of his life like Michael does. Doesn’t go around telling everyone that Ashton is and ‘actual ray of sunshine’ (with so much love and fondness in his eyes that people just _know_ ) the way Luke does. Doesn’t call the other three ‘his boys’ in a way that clearly means so much more the way Ashton does. He’s just never been as good at tiptoeing the fine line between friends and lovers the way the other boys have. He’s scared, no _terrified_ , that if he gives himself only a little of what never could be, that he’s just going to want more and more and more. That once he gives in to the fact that he is _utterly and undeniable in love with these boys_ , there is no way back. And the idea of them, of these three magnificent, radiant, vibrant boys ever loving him back is _absurd_.

But lately he feels his resolves crumbling. He’s tired of correcting people when they ask him if Michael is his boyfriend. He’s tired of pretending like he doesn’t want to kiss Ashton senseless whenever he smiles at Calum like _that_. Tired of pretending like Luke snuggling up to him for a cuddle isn’t the best part of his day. So when the elderly lady in the store had told him he and Michael looked really cute together, he had played along. Hell, he’d even taken it to a whole new level by saying they were engaged. And for a few minutes, Calum could pretend that they were. Could pretend that this long lasting crush on Michael was actually _mutual_ , that Michael really truly wanted to be with him, too.

Unfortunately, reality came crashing back down on him pretty quickly after that, which means he’s forced to listen to Michael joke about a wedding that’s never happening while Luke and Ashton laugh at his antics in the background. Has to look at Luke sitting across from him with an expectant look on his face and he has to _lie_ to him. Because there is no way Calum could ever tell him what’s really bothering him, could never tell him about the turmoil in his head and the aching in his heart without screwing it all up. Because there is no way, _no way in hell_ , that any of them will ever reciprocate his feelings.

So he settles for a dismissive, “Yeah, well, people change I guess,” And then gets up to go get a new beer. Luke lets him walk away, knows the clear signs of Calum needing space, but Calum can feel Luke’s eyes on his back all the way to the bar. He ignores it, the look he knows is a mix of wonder and worry, and tries to stop feeling guilty about cutting Luke off like that, of shutting him down when all he wanted to do was help. When all he did was care.

That’s the problem, really. Luke cares. Luke cares so much and Calum has a hard time reminding himself he isn’t the only person Luke cares about. He isn’t special. Luke cares about Ashton too, about Michael, about his family. Hell, Luke cares for every single person he meets, and sometimes even for people he’s never met before. It’s not that he wants Luke to himself or anything like that. He isn’t selfish. He can share. He just wishes it meant something, that Luke worried about him, that Luke wanted him to be okay. Just wishes it meant something more. Something _special_.

He takes his time at the bar, staling in the hope Ashton and Michael will be there when he gets back. He know he’s being childish, and that Luke isn’t likely to bring up the topic again, especially after Calum made it kind of obvious he doesn’t want to talk about it, but still.

When he finally does return, he finds someone’s already sitting at the table, right next to Luke, in the seat previously occupied by Calum. Someone who is not Michael or Ashton, or anyone Calum knows, really. The guy is leaning into Luke’s personal space, in a very obvious attempt of flirting with him. Which usually wouldn’t bother Calum. The four of them flirt all the time, even occasionally take someone home (although now Calum thinks about it, it’s been a while. For all of them. He tries not to look into it too much). It’s not a big deal, and usually Calum wouldn’t step in. Actually, normally Calum would’ve turned around and walked back to the bar to wait for Ashton and Michael, giving Luke and his possible conquest some space.

What makes this time different, though, is the look on Luke’s face. Calum has known Luke long enough to be able to read his every expression, even from such a distance. And the look on his face right now makes it _very clear_ that Luke is really uncomfortable right now. So it takes Calum approximately two seconds to get moving, his protective instincts kicking in. He hovers next to the table, taking what’s hopefully a threatening stand, and clears his throat.

Luke’s head immediately snaps up and when he spots Calum he sighs in relief and unvoluntarily leans towards him a little. Calum isn’t really paying attention to Luke, though, too busy staring down the guy who is slowly moving away from Luke, looking slightly scared.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Calum asks. His voice is calm, but the undertone of anger is clearly there. His eyes don’t leave the guy’s face for a second. The guy visibly swallows.

“Shit, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know, I didn’t know he had a boyfriend, I’m really sorry,” he blabbers, getting up from the chair and promptly slamming his knee against the table in the process. “I wouldn’t have flirted with him if I knew he was taken, I’m really sorry.”

It’s clear that the guy is more scared about Calum punching into next year than that he’s really sorry about hitting on Luke, but Calum doesn’t really care right now. All he cares about is that Luke looked uncomfortable, and that Calum would do anything to make him stop looking like that. Luke is too nice for his own good sometimes, and he knows Luke wouldn’t have blown the guy off. Calum is furious that this guy would take advantage of that. “I swear to god if I catch you near my boy again you won’t live to tell the tale. Am I clear?” The guy nods and makes a quick exit, not risking being around Calum any longer, just in case he changes his mind.

Calum falls down in the chair the guy just abandoned and immediately reaches towards Luke. “Are you okay?”

Luke, to Calum’s surprise, is staring at him with an amazed look on his face. “You looked so _scary_.” He sounds proud.

“Yeah,” Calum says, not really sure what to say. “Yeah, I just. You looked uncomfortable? So I just, uh. Are you sure you are okay?”

“Definitely,” Luke says, still sounding slightly amazed. Calum can see the relieved slump in his shoulder, however. The silent ‘thank you’ sparkling in his eyes. “I’m blessed to have a knight in shining armor like you who’d do anything to defend ‘his boy’.” There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes and he’s waggling his eyebrows. Calum groans.

“That just… slipped out, okay. I’m sorry. But, I mean, he was already assuming you and I were dating, so it wasn’t a big deal, right?” He helplessly looks into Luke’s eyes, for a sign that he hasn’t done anything wrong. That he hasn’t fucked it up.

“Not for me,” Luke says, and the unspoken ‘But for you?’ hangs heavy in the air between them. It’s kind of throwback of their earlier conversation, of Luke asking him what changed. Except now he isn’t asking ‘What changed?’, now he’s asking ‘Is Michael your only exception to your carefully build up façade? Or am I one too?’ And even though Calum knows he should put a stop to this, this putting his feelings out there thing, before he fucks it up entirely, he finds himself unable to do so when he’s looking in Luke’s honest bright, _bright_ blue eyes. So he smiles, soft and private, and says “Not for me either.” He doesn’t say ‘You’re an exception too’, doesn’t say ‘You’re just as important to me as Michael, just as important as Ashton’, but he knows Luke gets it. Can tell from the glint in his eyes and the smile tugging at his lips.

“So,” Luke says, “ _Boyfriend_ -“

Whatever he was about to say gets cut off by Ashton and Michael _finally_ joining them. “Boyfriend? Who has a boyfriend?” Ashton asks, glancing between Luke and Calum like he cannot believe the y would not share this information with him first.

“I do,” Luke says, happily, “It’s Calum.”

Behind Ashton, Michael gasps, “ _Calum_ ,” He sounds truly upset, “Are you _cheating on me_?”

Calum laughs, but plays along nonetheless. “I’m sorry baby, I didn’t want you to find out this way.”

Michael lets out a dramatic wail and falls down in the chair across from Luke, “And to think I was going to _marry him_!”

“What a shame the poor groom’s bride is a whore.” Ashton deadpans, and Michael tries very hard to keep a straight face. He fails miserably, and soon al of them are laughing hysterically.

When they’ve calmed down a little and Michael and Ashton start launching into stories about work and Calum finds himself able to relax a little again, letting the conversation wash over him. Luke sends him a look form where he’s sitting next to him, silent asking if he’s _really_ okay. Calum immediately smiles and sends him a short nod.

It isn’t until Luke has turned away to join Ashton and Michael in their debate over the laundry that Calum realizes that he really _is_ fine. He’s head over heels in love with his three best friends and it’s getting to a point where his carefully put up walls start cracking, but he finds he’s surprisingly okay with that. Ashton nudges Calum’s foot with his own under the table and smiles at him while Michael tries to convince Luke that coffee is ‘the jizz of Satan’ next to him. It all feels very at him, in a strange way that’s just typically them.

Calum wouldn’t want it any other way.


	5. Michael, Luke, and the baby stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to dedicate this chapter to gab. the sun to my stars, the michael to my luke <3

Here’s the thing: Michael doesn’t hate kids. He likes kids, even. Kids are cute. Babies are even cuter. He doesn’t always know how to handle them, and he’s terrified of accidentally dropping a baby one day, but overall he likes them, he really does.

What he doesn’t like, however, is being dragged from the couch in the middle of a very intense game of FIFA  because Luke insists they go present shopping for his little cousins birthday. Little cousin, as in a _one year old_. Which means they have to shop for _baby stuff_. While Michael could’ve been _playing video games_.

Luke doesn’t seem to get Michael’s clear unenthusiastic stance towards the situation. “Aw, come on, it’ll be fun! We get her like, cute plushies, or maybe even a book! Or like one of those chew books, she loves to chew on things according to mum.”

“I’ll chew on you if you don’t let me go right now,” Michael says, glaring at Luke, who is still steadily dragging him towards the car. He doesn’t seem at all fazed by Michael’s attempts at death by glaring.

“Michael, don’t be such a sourpuss, I need someone’s second opinion on this and you’re the best possible option.” Luke says, shoving Michael towards the passenger seat of the car while he gets behind the wheel.

Michael grumbles in annoyance as he fastens his seat belt. “ _I_ was your best possible option? What about the other inhabitants of our apartment? They seem pretty possible.”

Luke sends him a look as he starts the car. “Calum and Ashton? Yeah, no. Ashton gets like, _weird_ around baby stuff. Kind of like, if you don’t stop him he’s literally going to go and steal a baby or something. And Calum.” Luke huffs. “The last time I brought Calum and all the moms in the store sort of just, gravitated towards him and I spend the whole afternoon on my own trying to decide between a green or a yellow pacifier while Calum was hitting on hot moms. So yeah, you’re the best possible option.”

“Seems fair,” Michael says, reaching towards the stack of cd’s Luke keeps in his car in an attempt to find some decent music. It’s not that hard. Even though he hates to admit it, Luke’s taste in music is _awesome_. “But I’m still going to be complaining like, _the_ _whole time._ ”

Luke grins as he steers out of the parking lot. “As long as you won’t be stealing babies or hitting on moms, I think I can deal with that.”

\--

“This is ridiculous,” Michael says, for what must be the fifteenth time, “Why would a baby even _need that_?” He gestures at the plastic mobile phone Luke’s holding in his hand. “She’s turning _one_ , all she’s going to do is like, I don’t know, _chew on it_. I bet you can get something a lot cheaper that will suffer the exact same fate as that mobile phone.”

Luke sighs and places the phone back on the shelf. “See, and this is why I brought you. Because you give your honest, unadulterated opinion. On toy phones.”

Michael glares at him. “Am I detecting sarcasm? Do you regret bringing me yet? Did I already make the ‘never bring these people to a baby store’ list along with Ashton and Calum? Or do I have to try a little harder?”

Luke snorts as he picks up a wooden xylophone. “Honestly, all you’ve done so far is give me your honest opinion about possible gifts and give running commentary about the elderly people at the other end of the isle trying to pick out a pacifier. It’s nothing I didn’t expect. And surprisingly helpful. What do you reckon are the cons of wooden musical instruments?”

“Chewing. Splinters.” Michael grumbles, “Also, those elderly people are fucking ridiculous. We’ve been here for what? Twenty minutes? And they _still haven’t decided on a pacifier_. I’m pretty sure they’re torn between the blue one and the grey one and like? _Who cares what the color is_. Can you imagine if the baby would just be like ‘nah fuck this pacifier, it’s fucking grey I hate grey’. Of course that’s not going to happen. The baby’s not going to care about the color. It’s a _baby._ ”

Luke sends him a look that’s a mix between amused and fond. “Leave them be, Mikey. I think it’s cute. Maybe it’s their first grandchild or something. They’re probably super nervous, you know how parents get. I mean, can you imagine what your parents would be like when you’d be expecting a baby?”

“I’d reckon they’d be surprised, since I’m a boy and all.” Michael deadpans, and Luke sends him a ‘ _you know what I mean’_ kind of look. Michael sighs. “Fine, whatever, I’ll leave the elderly be. Now, have you decided on a present yet?”

Luke frowns. “No? I’ve mostly just been-“

A voice behind them interrupts them. “Excuse me, sirs? Could I maybe help you?”

Behind them is a woman, clearly an employee if her polo shirt and name tag are anything to go by. She’s looking between them curiously, like she’s trying to decide what they’re doing here, what their relationship is.

The thing is, Michael is kind of the king of spectacularly bad ideas. The master of stupid pranks. The almighty ruler of all that is incredibly dumb. Michael is also severely pissed off over the fact that instead of playing FIFA all afternoon, he’s forced to decide whether or not to get Luke’s baby cousin a xylophone or a toy phone on her birthday. He thinks it’s time of revenge. He thinks he deserves to have a little fun with this. So before Luke can opens his mouth to say anything, Michael slings his arm over Luke’s shoulder, smiles sweetly, and says “Yeah, me and my husband were just looking for a birthday present for our daughter’s first birthday? We want to make it special, but we don’t have a very large budget. The tragic reality of young parents, I’m afraid.”

The woman doesn’t bat an eyelash. Which isn’t really a surprise, Michael thinks she must’ve already been suspecting. People always do. The surprising part, however, is that Luke doesn’t bat an eyelash either. He just leans into Michael a little bit, and smiles politely. “We really want to get her something special. It’s her first birthday, you know. We know she won’t remember any of it when she’s grown up, but we just want to give her something that reminds him that we loved her right from the start.”

And god _damnit_. Sometimes Michael forget that while Michael is the king of bad ideas, Luke’s the king of ‘just rolling with it’. Not only ‘just rolling with it’, _taking it to a whole other level_. Michael’s slowly starting to realize, that maybe, _maybe_ he made a mistake.

“Of course, sir, I can imagine. I can recommend getting a plush toy, they’re often favorites for children and they’re pretty sustainable. Plus they’re perfect for a one year old. No parts they can choke on.” The woman rattles off, and Luke and Michael both nod politely.

“I bet our little angle would love a plushy, don’t you think Michael? I mean, she sleeps best when she’s holding on to something, I think.”  He turns towards the employee, “She’s always falling asleep on my chest, clutching my shirt. It’s the cutest thing.”

Great. Now Luke has giving Michael the visual of him lounging on the couch with a tiny sleeping baby on his chest. That’s _exactly_  what Michael needed right now. Luke and tiny sleeping babies. Fuck. Everything.

As they follow the still enthusiastically chattering employee towards the plushies, Luke raises his eyebrow and whispers. “Husband?”

“It’s a lot more believable than ‘me and my platonic guy friend have a kid that we’re buying presents for.’” Michael says with a shrug.

Luke snorts. “You also could’ve gone with, oh I don’t know, the truth? Me and you shopping for my cousin? It’s not that weird.”

“No,” Michael says, mischievous glint in his eyes, “But this is _so much more fun._ ”

“Wait a second,” Luke says, eyeing him suspiciously, “This is your official application to the ‘never bring these people to a baby store’ list, isn’t it? Oh you are _on_.”

Michael grins at him, “Bring it, Mr. Clifford.”

“Oh please,” Luke says, waving his hand dismissively, “You’d totally be the whipped asshole that would take my last name, don’t even try. Besides, Elisa _Hemmings_ sounds a lot better than Elisa _Clifford_.”

Michael frowns. “Elisa? Who the fuck is Elisa?”

Luke gasps and clutches at his heart. “Our _daughter_! How could you forget the name of your own child, you terrible father!”

“You’re the worst.” Michael says, shoving him lightly. Before Luke can retaliate they’ve reached the plushies, which means the woman has stopped blabbering about, well, whatever she was blabbering about and is now looking at Michael and Luke with a soft smile on her face.

“We have a great selection of plushies,” She says, once she is sure she has the boys’ attention. “Have a look around, ask me if you need to know anything. Personally I would recommend the cat plushies. They always do great with little girls.” She nods at them and then walks off to rearrange something at the end of the isle. Far away enough so she can give Luke and Michael a bit of space, but close enough so she’s there when they have questions.

“You know, the plushy thing isn’t actually that bad of an idea,” Luke murmurs, sliding up behind Michael and hooking his chin over Michael’s shoulder. His hands are rested on Michael’s tummy, and his thumb is tracing small patterns over the fabric of Michael’s shirt.

Michael hums, leaning back against Luke. “She still watching?” He asks, turning his head slightly.

“Yeah,” Luke says. And then he presses his lips to the corner of Michael’s mouth. He’s gone before Michael can even realize what’s going on, but he can still feel the tingling of his lips that indicate that that’s a thing that actually _happened_. “Do you reckon she’d like a kitten plushy? Because I feel like she’d be more into like, a wild animal. Like a tiger or an elephant.” Luke continues, like nothing happened. Like he didn’t just basically kiss Michael in the middle of a store for baby stuff while pretending to be his husband.

“I don’t know,” Michael chokes out, “I never met her. But what you’ve told me about her she’s one fierce baby. So I’d say you’re in the right direction with the wild animals.” He tries to ignore the feel of Luke’s arms around his waist, his hot breath hitting Michael’s neck.

“Yeah, you got a point,” Luke mumbles against Michael’s shoulder. Suddenly he untangles himself from Michael and walks over to one of the shelves to grab a stuffed panther. Michael tries not to be disappointed by the lack of warmth. “What about this? This is pretty cool, right? Perfect combination between cute kitty and fierce wild life animal.” Luke holds up the panther and makes fake growling noises. It’s frustratingly endearing.

Michael laughs, taking the panther from Luke and running his hands over it. “It’s really soft, too. I bet she’d love it.”

Luke hums, and takes a step closer to Michael, so they’re almost nose to nose. His right hand lands on Michael’s chest, and stays there. Michael wonders if Luke can feel how hard his heart is beating. He really hopes he doesn’t, it would probably give away everything. Whatever everything is. Luke’s left hand reaches up to softly caress Michael’s cheek, and Michael feels himself leaning in to it involuntarily. “She will,” Luke mutters, and leans up to kiss Michael again. Michael momentarily wonders how many kisses it will take until he will just melt into a puddle on the floor. “Our little girl will be so happy,” Luke ads, louder, so the employee who’s still watching them from the end of the aisle can clearly hear him.

It kind of shakes Michael from the little bubble he had found himself in. A reminder that what they are doing is for show, to fuck with the employee, mostly. He suddenly has a great urge to get the hell out of there. “Great, lets head home, then.” He says, grabbing Luke’s hand and dragging him in the direction of the employee.

“We’ve made our decision,” He holds up the panther, wiggles it around a little.

“Our little princess loves panthers,” Luke ads, and Michael momentarily contemplates suffocating him with the plushy. Maybe then he will finally stop talking about their non-existent daughter. Maybe then he will finally _stop touching_. His hand is resting lightly on Michael’s waist right now and his body heat is bleeding through the thin fabric of his shirt. It’s nice, but Michael’s doesn’t _want_ it to be nice.

They pay for the plushy, Luke talks to the employee about how their little girl is at his mother’s today so they could shop for her birthday, and how much he already misses her, and Michael contemplates walking barefooted over the Lego display. It would probably hurt less than Luke saying things like “She’s the light of our life, really. The first time I saw Michael hold her, I cried. It just felt so good, you know? Like we were finally _complete_.”

“You’re such a fucking sap,” is the first thing Michael says when they step outside.

Luke sends him a confused, innocent look. “What do you mean, hubbie? I was just telling the truth, wasn’t I?”

Michael glares at him, “You’re so full of shit. Honestly, you’re the worst. Satan, you’re Satan. Or one of his demon like minions. You’re _ridiculous_.”

Luke snorts, clearly amused. “You’re the one who started it, Mr. ‘My husband and I were looking for a present for our daughters birthday’. I just played along.”

“You didn’t have to do it _so well_. Like, seriously? Our little princess? The light of our life? I mean there is this thing called over doing it, you know.”

“Aw, come on, that woman clearly loved it. She was eating that shit right up. Besides, it was funny right?” Luke says, pouting at him. Michael hates that pout. It makes it so hard to stay mad at him. He’s not even sure _why_ he is mad. After all, he brought this all up on himself.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re an awesome great husband. Now, get in the car, we need to get home so I can inform Calum the wedding’s off. Apparently, I am already married.” Michael ducks when Luke throws the plushy his way.

Michael secretely really hopes he didn’t make Luke’s ‘never bring these people to a baby store’ list. Despite everything, he actually had a lot of fun.

(“Luke and I are married!” Michael yells enthusiastically when he enters the kitchen when they get home later. Ashton’s the only one there, and he’s cooking what appears to be way too many vegetables. Luke pulls a face. Ashton looks unimpressed.

“Seriously? First you’re engaged, now you’re married. What’s next? Kids?”

Luke snorts and Michael pulls a face. “Funny you should mention that….”)


	6. Ashton, Calum, and the car accident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lou made me do it

Ashton’s going to kill Calum. Or, if that’s what it comes to, he’s going to bring Calum back to life just so he can kill him. It will be brutal. With lots of blood and broken bones. Kind of like how Calum looks right now.

“Calum, you fucking _idiot_.” Is the first thing Ashton says, as he rushes into the hospital room. Calum’s in a bed at the far end of the room, and looks how Ashton feels. Like shit. “You had me so fucking worried. You had _all of us_ so fucking worried.” Calum smiles sheepishly, but stays otherwise quiet.

Ashton finally reaches the bed, and stands next to it, examining Calum for a while. His face looks almost as pale as the bed sheets he’s wrapped in, and the bags under his eyes look like they could hold a week’s worth of groceries. Both his arms are wrapped in bandages, just like his forehead, and his right leg is in a cast. Looking at him like this, Ashton feels all the anger bleeding out of him. Now, he’s just glad Calum’s still here. He’s still breathing. He’s still alive.

“We were so worried,” Ashton says again, but it’s all but a whisper now. He reaches forward, his hand hovering next to Calum’s face, and Calum grants him permission to touch by leaning into it. “When they called me, I thought.” He huffs. “They said, they said you were in pretty critical condition. Said they weren’t sure you were going to make it. I was, I couldn’t-“ Ashton furiously wipes the tears that are threatening to fall from his eyes. They’re happy tears, mostly. Relieved tears.

“I’m really sorry,” Calum says, and his voice sounds raspy, like he hasn’t used it for a really long time. He has his eyes closed, and he’s leaning into Ashton’s hand like it’s the only thing keeping him alive right now, and Ashton feels the tears well up again.

“I wasn’t allowed to see you, when I got here. I was alone, because Michael and Luke were, are still, at work and couldn’t possibly leave and I was sitting there, desperate to see if you were okay, and they wouldn’t let me see you.” Ashton knows he’s rambling now, but he needs to get this out. Needs Calum to know how worried he was, so it won’t ever happen again. “A car accident, they said. ‘We have faith Mr. Hood will recover completely,’ was another. And I just, I couldn’t even believe any of them, you know. I wouldn’t believe any of them until I could see with my very own eyes that you were okay.”

Calum opens his eyes at that. “I’m okay,” he says, sincere. Ashton knows he isn’t, though. Knows the telltale signs of Calum being far from okay. The dull look in his eyes, far from the sparkle it usually holds. The slight downturn of his mouth. But he appreciates the sentiment, and he knows that under circumstances, Calum’s actually kind of okay. It could’ve been worse. He could’ve been-

“I’m sorry I called you an idiot, when I walked in,” Ashton says, effectively breaking off his own train of thought. “I was just really pissed at the nurses for not telling me anything and mad at you for making me worry and mad at myself for even being mad at you in the first place and I just,” He waves his free hand around, and Calum huffs out a laugh. Then winces in pain.

“It’s okay, Ash, I was uh, kind of an idiot.” He pointedly does not look Ashton in the eye as he says, “I got hit by a car when I tried to save a puppy that had ran onto the road.”

“Oh, _Calum_ ,”  Ashton says, exasperatedly fond, running his hand through Calum’s hair, it feels sticky and there’s still tiny pieces of asphalt in it. Ashton vows to get Calum into a shower as soon as they can. He knows how much Calum hates feeling gross like this. He always gets the first shower after work outs.

Calum looks confused. “You’re not mad?” He says, eyebrows furrowed.

“No,” Ashton says, smiling softly. “I mean, yeah, I’m kind of mad you’d risk your life to save a _puppy_ , but I know you, and I know you wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself if you hadn’t done anything. So, I get it.” He runs his thumb over Calum’s cheek and watches Calum close his eyes in content. “But please, never do it again.”

“I can’t promise anything,” Calum mumbles, and Ashton smiles softly.

“Also, don’t expect Michael to be as forgiving.” Ashton ads, and Calum shivers.

“Don’t remind me, he’s going to _kill me_.”

“Luke will stop him, I think,” Ashton says, falling down in the empty chair next to Calum’s bed. “He’s always been more of a pacifist.”

“Luke will probably be worse than Michael,” Calum says with a sigh, “He probably won’t let me leave his sight for like, five seconds the upcoming weeks.”

Ashton hums, “Just remember the puppy, whenever Luke tries to force feed you his homemade chicken soup. You saved that little fella, after all. No one can take that away from you.”

“I like Luke’s homemade chicken soup,” Calum mumbles, and Ashton can tell he’s starting to fall asleep. Ashton lets him. He’ll wake up when Michael and Luke get here.

Calum’s hand sleepily reaches out for Ashton and Ashton wordlessly takes it in his, running mindless patterns over the palm with his thumb. That’s how the doctor finds him ten minutes later, when she comes in to check up on Calum.

“I have good news and bad news,” she says, when Ashton has carefully woken Calum up. “The good news is that despite the pretty severe hit Mr. Hood took, none of his vital organs have been damaged, and he will be up and running again in no time.”

Calum smiles at that and Ashton lets out a relieved sigh. “The bad news is that we have to keep him here for a night, just to make sure everything’s okay.”

Ashton’s face falls. Although he’s happy Calum is okay, he also knows Calum is horrible at sleeping somewhere alone, especially in a strange place. Calum has his own bedroom in their apartment, but he barely ever sleeps there. Prefers to sleep with one of the other boys, whoever is willing to have him. He’s not good with sleeping alone, especially in such an unfamiliar environment as this hospital room. Ashton glances over at Calum and indeed sees that he’s looking pretty gloomy at the prospect.

The doctor must see the distressed look on Calum’s face, because she immediately holds up her hands in reassurance. “Don’t worry, Mr. Hood. We can get an extra bed in here so your boyfriend can sleep over. I know it must be hard to sleep alone after the pretty traumatic experience you had today.”

Calum, clearly relieved, doesn’t even correct the doctor on the fact that she called Ashton his boyfriend. “Thank you so much, that would be great.”

But, now Ashton thinks about it, it’s not really that weird for the doctor to assume him and Calum are dating. After all, he is Calum’s emergency contact, he’s the first person they called once Calum got admitted to the hospital. It seemed like the smartest choice at the time, when they filled in the official papers, since Calum’s parents are back in Sydney and Calum’s sister is, well, all over the world. Ashton’s also Michael and Luke’s emergency contact. Luke is his. It’s convenient, more than anything.

On top of that there’s the scene he made in the waiting room when they didn’t let him see Calum, and the way he was holding Calum’s hand when the sister walked in. Any sane person would assume they were dating.

Still, it nags him. The fact that it’s what he sees as natural and normal behavior when it comes to Calum, others see as a relationship. As a _dating_ relationship. It means something, although his tired, wrung out brain can’t really think of _what_ at the moment. All he knows right now is that Calum won’t be alone tonight, and that he’s alive, and that he’s okay.

“A nurse will be here shortly to get you situated,” The doctor says to Ashton, and then she’s leaving.

It’s silent in the room, one in which Ashton reaches for Calum’s hand again, and Calum closes his eyes with a sigh. “It’s okay, right?” Calum eventually asks, voice soft and raspy. “For you to stay, I mean. That’s not a problem?”

Ashton’s head shoots up, and he looks at Calum, who’s looking down at the bed sheets, nervously biting his lip. “ _Calum_ ,” Ashton says, urgency clear in his voice. Calum looks up to him, clearly hesitant, like he’s scared Ashton’s going to yell at him for wanting him to stay. Like Ashton’s going to judge him for needing someone there so he can peacefully sleep at night. “Calum, it’s okay. Seriously, I’m not even,” He frustratingly waves his arms around. His tired, muddled brain makes it hard to find the words. “I skipped class, broke at least fifteen rules on my way to the hospital, yelled at a nurse, then at the woman behind the desk, and then at a nurse again, cried when they told me you were going to make it and that everything was okay, and you think I wouldn’t do anything to make sure I could sleep here tonight? To make sure you were okay? Cal, if they hadn’t provided me with a bed, I would’ve slept in one of these horrible plastic chairs. I’m not leaving, not until you can leave, too.”

“Oh,” Calum says, smiling softly. There’s something in his eyes, something fond and something… Something more. Something they need to talk about, later. But not right now. Right now is about getting Calum better, getting Calum back on his feet again. “Thank you, for everything.” Calum says, and he means it.

“Always.” Ashton says, and he means it.

Suddenly the door to Calum’s room bursts open, and Michael and Luke come stumbling in, falling half over each other to get to the bed as fast as possible.

“Calum!” Luke shouts, barreling straight into the bed and gingerly placing his hand on Calum’s chest. “Calum, Calum, Calum.” He breaths out, letting his hands slide over Calum’s chest, to his face, his cheeks. Like he’s checking if it’s really Calum in front of him. Like he’s scared it’s a mirage, that Calum’s not really fine, that he’s going to disappear.

“Yeah, it’s me,” Calum says, laughing softly. Luke sighs, relieved, but his hands don’t leave Calum’s face.

“You look like shit,” Michael deadpans, standing next to Luke. He looks mad, but Ashton can see the relieve in his eyes that Calum is okay.

“I’m sorry,” Calum breaths out, and suddenly Michael is lurching forward and carefully draping himself over Calum’s chest, hands clutching at the sheets.

“Please never do that again,” He mutters into the crook of Calum’s neck, and Calum carefully wraps his arms around his best friend.

“Can’t promise anything,” Calum says, repeating the words he told Ashton earlier. It’s enough for Michael apparently, because he’s pulling away and softly runs a hand over Calum’s cheek.

“You’re an idiot.” The words have no heat. If anything, they just sound immensely relieved.  

“I will give you guys some time to catch up, give Calum a chance to tell you what happened exactly,” Ashton says, getting up from his chair. “I’ll go call Joy and David and update them on the situation.” He turns towards Calum. “Mali too. I called them earlier while I was in the waiting room. They’ll probably want an update.”

Calum looks a bit guilty, like he feels bad for not thinking about his parents himself, but Ashton doesn’t hold it against him. He’s been through a lot today, and he knows reassuring his family that he’s okay might not have been at the top of his list of priorities. Besides, that’s what Ashton is for, isn’t it? He’ll take care of his boys, when they need them and when they don’t. So he gets up, presses a kiss to Calum’s forehead, pats Luke on the head and Michael on the shoulder, and leaves the room.

In the hallway, he takes a moment to himself. A moment to let himself unwind, a moment to let himself be weak without the other boys seeing it. He leans heavily against the wall as he lets out a shaky breath. Calum is alive. He’s beat up and hurt, but he’s okay. He’ll make it through. Ashton’s relieved, but it’s still hard to shake of the initial fear of losing Calum. Ashton probably won’t be fully convinced of Calum being okay until he has him back on their own couch, in their own apartment.

“Are you all right, sweetie?” A voice next to him asks, and Ashton looks up to find an elderly nurse looking at him curiously.

Ashton takes a shaky breath. “Yeah I’m fine.” He mutters, wiping at his eyes. He hadn’t even realized he was crying, but now he can feel the salty tears running down his face.

“Oh honey, it’s going to be okay, please don’t cry.” The nurse says, moving closer and placing a reassuring hand on Ashton’s shoulder. “Your Mr. Hood’s boyfriend, yeah?”

Ashton nods. “How did you, how did you know?” He figures focusing on the conversation might make him stop crying long enough for him to be able to pull himself together so he can call the Hood family. It probably won’t be a really reassuring message if he calls them sobbing like a baby.

“You were causing quite the stir in the waiting room,” The nurse says, soft smile on her face, “It’s clear you love him a lot. He really lucked out in the boyfriend department.”

Ashton blushes. He should probably correct her, but it’s late and he is so, _so_ tired, so he just nods. “Yeah, I uh. Me too.” He mumbles, and the nurse’s smile widens.

“Don’t worry, okay? He’s going to be okay. He’s a tough one. It’ll take a lot more than just a car to take him out.” She says, patting his shoulder once again before she straightens up again. “Well, I have to leave now, lots of work to do. You will be all right, yeah?” Ashton nods. “Good. Say hi to Mr. Hood from me.”

Ashton just nods again, too tired to ask her _who_ he’s supposed to say hi for, since he doesn’t actually know who she is. Maybe he talked to her in the waiting room earlier, but honestly the memories of that are fuzzy and overshadowed by the worry he was feeling for Calum at the time. He takes a deep breath and extracts his phone from his pocket, hitting one of the speed dial numbers to call the Hood family.

He assures them Calum is okay, and that he can go home in the morning, and that Ashton and the other boys will take care of him until he’s completely better again. Mrs. Hood tells him that she knows Ashton will take good care of her boy, and makes him promise Calum will call her as soon as he can. When he finally hangs up he feels a little lighter, and when he stumbles back to Calum’s room, he only has one thing on his mind.

Sleep. And then tomorrow, finally, home.


	7. Luke, his boys, and the time they finally got their shit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE IT IS. THE FINAL FUCKING CHAPTER. AM I CRYING? YES I AM CRYING. 
> 
> Seriously tho I started with this idea literally like,,,, six months ago and now HERE WE ARE!! i'm rlly sad it's over now but i'm also rlly happy because this story truly brought me a lot of joy.
> 
> Special thanks to:
> 
> Elisa; light of my life, tiny little fairy, thank you for supporting me throughout the writing/posting of this fic I LOVE YOU  
> Lou; the sun the moon and all of my stars, my love, thank you sososos much for being there for me and yelling at me and helping me figure out the ending you're the BEST and i love you LOTS  
> Thera; my partner in crime, my ot4 buddy, thank you SO MUCH for liking my fic and being a generally cool person and being excited aaahhh i love you<3
> 
> and everyone else who's followed this story since the beginning, who's found it half way through, who only just stumbled upon it: THANK YOU SO MUCH. thank you for reading, for commenting, for liking, for everything you've done. You all are the BEST <3
> 
> Now, here it is. The final chapter of Limerence.

“You two _kissed_?!”

The sentence feels a lot like a déjà vu, Luke thinks, as he pushes open Calum’s bedroom with his shoulder, balancing a tray with four bowls of homemade chicken soup in his hands. Calum’s in the middle of the bed, wrapped in blankets, his broken leg propped up on a pillow. Michael’s sitting cross-legged on the right side of the bed, munching on gummy worms and smiling wickedly. Ashton’s leaning with his back against the headboard on the left side of Calum, typing something on his laptop, that is softly playing music.

“Uhu,” Michael confirms, obnoxiously swallowing the gummy worm he was chewing on. “We totally did.”

Luke has an idea where this conversation is about, but he keeps quiet as he distributes the soup bowls. Michael and Calum accept theirs without breaking eye contact with each other. Ashton smiles politely at him. Luke sits down at the foot of the bed and takes his own bowl, blowing gently at the soup to cool it down.

“Why haven’t I heard about this before? Why did you never tell me this?” Calum sounds betrayed. He actually looks really upset, too. The fact that he still has a bandage wrapped around his head doesn’t really help his case. It makes him look kind of really sad. Luke kind of understands that he’s upset. As far as he knows, him and Michael never really have any secrets for each other.

Michael shrugs and dips a gummy worm in his soup before eating it. Luke should probably be surprised or disgusted by that action, but he really isn’t. He’s truly been living with Michael Clifford for too long, way too used to his strange eating habits. “I didn’t think you would want to hear about that, to be honest. Plus, we did tell you, in a way. I mean, I told you Luke and I pretended to be married and all that.”

Ah, so Luke’s suspicions are confirmed. This conversation is indeed about the kiss (or actually, kisses) he and Michael shared a few weeks back when pretending to be married to each other. He knew that would come back to bite them in the ass.

“Yeah, but I didn’t know that would include _kissing_. You and I  pretended to be engaged and we never kissed.” Calum crosses his arms, and pouts. Paired with the broken leg and the bandage around his head, it looks kind of ridiculous. Luke tries very hard not to laugh.

“I just, I didn’t think _you_ would want to?” Michael says, slowly, quietly, and a silence falls over the room.

It’s charged, like all the boys suddenly realize something. _You_ didn’t want to means that when Luke kissed Michael, they did both want it. That when Ashton kissed Luke, they both wanted it. That they wanted all of that from each other. And Luke. Luke does want those things. He does want to kiss and hold hands and be in love. Hell, he _is_ in love. He’s known this for a very long time, but it never seemed relevant.

But with everything that’s been happening recently, between all of them, it’s suddenly become relevant. It’s become very relevant. Because over the past few weeks, it seemed more and more like maybe, _maybe_ , there was a possibility. For the four of them. For them to work.

And now appears to finally be the time to talk about it.

“Michael and I also kissed,” Ashton pipes up, which was about the last thing Luke expected to hear.

“You did?” Luke asks, tentatively, carefully, while Calum’s entire exterior seems to scream ‘Are you fucking kidding me?!’ For Luke, he feels like this is an Important Moment. The whole air feels loaded with, well, something, and he’s determent to finally solve this. To finally stop this weird tension that’s been going on between them for the past weeks.

“Yeah, after the whole pretending to date thing at Michael’s parents’ house.” Ashton’s looking down at his hands, but the soft smile on his face tells Luke it isn’t entirely from nerves.

“You mean,” Calum says, slowly, “That Michael’s parents weren’t even there? That it wasn’t to like, keep up appearances? You two just…”

“Kissed.” Michael concludes. He’s looking straight at Ashton, who’s still looking down at his hands. “I kissed him. Because I wanted to. We never talked about it, because it didn’t seem like the right thing to do, but I think, I think we need to. Now. Talk about it, I mean.”

Calum nods, slowly, like he’s all trying to take it in. “So you’ve all kissed each other.” The boys nod. The corners of Calum’s mouth suddenly turn down, and he plucks at his blanket, refusing to look at any of them. “Why, uh, why didn’t any of you ever, like, uh, kiss me?”

There’s a silence over the room, in which all the boys look at Calum. Calum is still incredibly interested in the blanket. “Do you,” Michael starts, and clears his throat. “Do you want to kiss us?”

“I, uh… Maybe?” Calum squeaks.

“Oh,” Ashton breaths out, surprised. “Oh. Oh, well in that case you should know that I think that the reason we uh, never, well, kissed you is because we didn’t think you’d, uh, want it? You always just sort of seemed opposed to the idea of dating, even if it was fake dating, and you’ve only recently warmed up to that, so, uh, yeah.”

Calum huffs. “I didn’t want to, at first. Or, well, I kept telling myself I didn’t want to. But then you all started fake dating each other and then _I_  started fake dating you and then I sort of, uh, realized I did really want that? All of that? But then, uh, for real?”

“You want to be with us?” Michael asks, timidly, like he can’t quite believe it. “All three of us?”

Calum nods, still looking down, and Luke lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Me too. Want to be with all of you. I want to be with all of you, I mean. I, uh, I guess I’m like, in love with you all? Yeah. I am.” Luke blurts out, and finally all three boys look up, if only to look at him. Michael looks smug, Calum looks relieved, and Ashton looks mostly surprised.

“What about you, Ash,”  Michael says, wiggling his eyebrows in Ashton’s direction, “You want a piece of this too?” He runs one of his sticky gummy worm hands down his chest, and almost drops the soup bowl he’s holding in his other hand. Michael squawks when he accidentally spills soup over his knee.

Ashton groans, “Unfortunately, yes. Yes, I do. All of you,” At the last words he looks from Calum to Luke and smiles gently.

“This is so awesome, Michael says, as he places his soup bowl on the nightstand behind him. “I want to bone all of you too. We all want to bone each other. This is the best day of my life.” When he turns back to face his boys he’s smiling brightly. Michael’s playing it down, he really is. He’s simplifying it the way Michael always does with everything. ‘Oh, you like me and I like you? Great, lets bang!’ Michael always does this when something important happens. Luke knows he truly _is_ happy that this is happening right now, can see it in his eyes. But he also knows that Michael is terrified out of his _mind_. Which is why he’s trying to make it into a joke.

The other boys also know this, judging by the expression they’re sending Michael. “So, we want this?” Ashton asks, nervous waver in his voice, “We all really want this? To be with each other, I meant?”

The other three boys nod, mutely. And then they just stare at each other for a while. “So, uh, what now?” Michael eventually breaks the silence. “Are we dating? Are we boyfriends?”

“I would like that.” Luke says. “For you three to be my boyfriends, I mean. If you want that, of course.” At his last words he looks down, fiddling with his hands.

“I’d,” Ashton takes a deep breath. “I’d really like that.”

“Yeah,” Calum breaths out. “Boyfriends.”

“Cool,” Michael says. “So that’s it? We’re boyfriends?” He seems…. Almost disappointed. “Isn’t there some sort of like, initiation ceremony? Do I have to enroll in a Blackboard course now? Make an official group chat?”

Ashton snorts. “We already have an official group chat. Although maybe we should change the name now. ‘Big Ballz 4 Lyf’ is not very romantic.” Michael opens his mouth, probably to tell Ashton exactly how romantic big balls could be, but Ashton cuts him off. “We could… We could, uh, go on a date? Like, the four of us. Going somewhere. Or staying home, seeing Calum’s current state. But just. Doing something together. As boyfriends.” He’s blushing, and Luke has to try very hard not to lean over and pinch his cheek. He looks adorable. But then again, he always looks adorable.

“We could watch a movie? Or a lot of movies? I love movies.” Calum says. He’s plucking at the blanket again, and Luke can tell he’s still nervous. They all are. No matter how comfortable they are around each other, this is still different. This is a whole new chapter they’re entering now.

“Isn’t that what we always do, though?” Michael says, and as soon as the words leave his mouth,  all four of them seem to realize something.

They watch movies together all the time. Sprawled over each other to the point where Luke never quite knows whether the elbow poking him in the side is Ashton’s or Calum’s. They fall asleep there too, right there on the couch, or the bed, or wherever they decided to watch movies. And when they wake up Luke’s usually all sweaty and Michael’s often snoring in his ear, but he’s also happy. He’s home.

They go out, too. They go to bars and coffee shops and restaurants. They share their food whenever they’re eating somewhere, and Luke can’t remember the last time he ate an entire plate of food just by himself while him and his boys were in a restaurant. He knows all of their coffee orders by heart. He knows that when Michael drinks too much Tequila he starts stripping, that the seconds Calum downs his fifth beer he wants to dance, and that Ashton’s urge to go do karaoke grows with every glass of wine he drinks.

Luke can’t remember the last time any of them mentioned a date, or a crush, or anything else related to love. He does remember how easily it felt to kiss Michael, how simple it is to sling his arm around Calum’s waist, how normal it feels to cuddle up to Ashton.

“Wait a fucking minute,” Calum says, as the same time as Ashton says, “We’ve practically been dating all this time, haven’t we?”

Michael snorts, “It appears we have. All this fake dating wasn’t so fake after all.”

“But now it’s real. Like, _real_ , real.” Luke says, and he can’t help the goofy smile that spreads over his face. “We’re _boyfriends_.” In a random bout of weird inspiration, he holds out his fist, so it’s hovering over Calum’s legs, right in the middle of the bed.

Ashton and Calum look a bit confused, but Michael immediately catches on and bumps his fist against the side of Luke’s, expectantly looking at the others. They join, and the second all of their fists are touching, they all pull their hands back at the same time, spreading their fingers and making fake explosion noises.

“There,” Luke says, “We did the polyamory fist bump of everlasting love. Now it’s official.”

He expects Michael to snort and tell him he’s an idiot. He expects Calum to groan and roll his eyes. He expects Ashton to tell him such a thing doesn’t actually exist.

But they don’t. Instead, they all look at Luke, at each other, with wide, happy grins on their faces.

For the first time in a very long time, Luke’s boys surprise him. But he doesn’t mind. In fact, he thinks he can get used to it, if that means that warm feeling of pride in love that’s bubbling in his chest will never fade.

\--

(They spend the rest of the afternoon eating soup and watching movies, all snuggled up together on Calum’s giant king sized bed. Ashton’s elbow is digging in Luke’s side, and Calum accidentally hits him in the face, and Michael keeps whining that the movie Calum picked is stupid, and Luke has never felt so at home. It feels right, it feels safe. It feels like this is always how it was supposed to be.

Eventually they get tired and strip to their underwear, crawling in bed together and clinging to each other like they usually do. Really, everything they’ve done since the confessions came out is much like what they used to do, but it still _feels_ different. These are his boyfriends now, Luke thinks, as he snuggles a little closer to Calum and laces his fingers together with Ashton.

There’s no weird tension between them anymore, no weird tiptoeing the careful line between friends and lovers. It’s still them, but it’s different. It’s good.

Despite all the exiting things that have happened all day, and how exhausted he feels because of it, he still can’t get himself to fall asleep. His brain keeps buzzing, focusing on the way Calum’s chest feels under his hand, focused on Ashton’s breath hitting the back of his neck, focused on Michael’s foot nudging his ankle. Focused on the four boys that are in bed with him, that are his _boyfriends_ now.

Luckily, it appears he’s not the only one who can’t sleep. His boys seem restless, all clearly deep in thought. Like him, they’re clearly too focused on each other, on the fact that they’re _boyfriends_ now, to properly be able to fall asleep.

Michael’s the first one to break the silence. He starts humming a familiar tune, but Luke can’t quite put his finger on what it is exactly. Ashton, however, does seem to immediately recognize it.

“Michael, no.”

Michael’s humming gets louder.

“ _Michael_.”

He’s started mumbling words now, too, though Luke still can’t quite make out what he’s singing. Calum, who’s right next to Michael, seems to have caught on too, because he groans and tries to slap his hand over Michael’s face. That’s apparently all the encouragement Michael needs to take it up a notch and go full out with whatever song he was humming.

“Caaaaan you feeeeel the loooooove toniiiiiiiight,” He croons, and Luke has to try very hard not to burst out in laughter as Calum and Ashton groan in unison.

“It is wheeeeeeere weeee aaaare,” Michael continues, and Ashton grabs his pillow and tries to hit Michael in the face with it.

“Michael, _shut the fuck up_.”

“It’s enough for this wiiiiide eeeeyed wanderer,” He’s still singing, but he’s clearly also trying not to laugh, and his voice shakes with it. “Thaaaaaaat weeeeee gooooot this far.”

“You’re not going to get very fucking far if you don’s shut the fuck up right now.” Ashton threatens. It doesn’t sound very convincing.

Luke can’t help himself. He feels happy and giddy and mostly just really fucking _happy_ , and Michael’s singing dumb songs about being in love and Luke _can’t help himself_. So when Michael takes a deep breath again and croons out another “Caaaaaaan you feeeeel the loooooove toniiiiiight.” Luke joins him at full volume.

Ashton promptly shoves a pillow in Luke’s face. “Luke, no, not you too! Don’t betray me like this you fucking piece of shit.”

“How it’s laaaaiiiiiid to reeeeeest.”

“There’s not much resting happening thanks to you two fucking idiots.” Ashton grumbles, and Calum laughs, and then Luke laughs, and suddenly all of them are laughing. It feels like relief. That they can still be dumb and annoy each other and sing Elton John songs in the middle of the night even though they’re boyfriends now. Nothing’s changed, it’s still them.

Luke hasn’t felt so genuinely happy in a really long time.

Eventually their laughter settles down, until it’s only a few soft giggles here and there, and for a moment Luke thinks they’re all going to fall asleep now.

But then Ashton takes a huge breath next to him, and sings, at the top of his lungs, “CAAAAAAN YOU FEEEEEL THE LOOOOOOVE TONIIIIIIIGHT.”

“IT IS WHEEEEERE WEEEEE AAAAARE.” Calum sings back.

“IT’S ENOUGH FOR THIS WIIIIIIIDE EEEEEEYED WANDERER.” Luke and Michael sing at the same time.

They pause for a second, looking at each other in the dark. Ashton hooks his chin over Luke’s shoulder and laces their hands together on Calum’s chest. Calum places his hand on top of theirs, and then Michael does too. They share one last glance, laying there in the dark, hands interlaced, so close together that it’s hard to distinguish whose limbs are whose, and all together take a deep breath, before screaming as loud as possible, at the top of their lungs:

“THAAAAAAT WEEEEEEE GOOOOOOT THIS FAR.”)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: i've been planning that final scene with can you feel the love tonight since i started fucking writing this fic lmaoo
> 
> I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH ONCE AGAIN THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING <333

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr [here](http://chefmikey.tumblr.com) :)))))


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